I was walking down memory lane. It was covered with old sticky pieces of candy. As I was walking down the dreary road I saw my old buddy from school. He was as stupid looking as ever and I think his name was Elyk Backwards. It turned out that he was an alien but since Brian Christoffel was student council president that year they decided an alien was good publicity.
"Hello, you have entered the memory lane tourist shop, would you like a postcard?"
"Hey, I know you" I said.
"Oh, hi Joe, I didn't recognize you. You know that I'm not supposed to socialize on the job. But I suppose that if you bought something I'd have an excuse."
"All right, what do you have?" I questioned.
"Well we have these fine looking post cards you might be interested in."
"Well actually I wasn't thinking of getting post cards, but how about a t-shirt?"
"Okay, would you like large, X-large, XX-large, or by the look of you, you porbably need life sized!"
"Okay," I replied not really paying attention. "I'll take whatever you suggest."
Absent mindedly, I took the shirt and it collapsed over me as I was sucked in to the picture!
I found myself looking at a beautiful island covered with trees of all types. It was the most awesome sight ever seen. I walked up the beach and found footprints in the sand, apparently there was a big turkey roaming around the island!
Well, it's almost thanksgiving anyway!
As I walked around the island I discovered that it was round and had a large lake with an island in themiddle of it.
I saw the turkey advancing on me. It was large and ugly and the ored dangly thing hanging down frome its beak was dripping with disgustingly noxious slobber as if it was about to get its first mea. Then it charged me. I was knocked over and I could feel the warm slobber dripping down my nose, it felt like . . . Well, it felt like disgustingly noxious warm slobber dripping down my nose. Then I heard something ripping, then came a scream. I realized that I was the one screaming!
I looked around and I saw the turkey chewing on a leg. It looked surprisingly like my own.
I screamed louder, more in horror than in pain. Suddenly, the turkey let out a loud grunt and fell. I realized that I actually felt no pain at all. I looked down at my own leg and saw that it was still attached. I stood up and looked around. Laying right behind my feet had been a mannequin thing that people practice CPR stuff on, it had only one leg.
I looked beyond and noticed some natives standing there with bow and arrows. I walked over to thank them for saving my life, they grabbe me harshly and tied my hands behind my back. One of them whistled shrilly and out of the sand rose a bunch of turkeys, almost the exat duplicate of the dead one. They then tied a rope to a turkey's legs and knotted it tightly aroune mine, I was dragged all the way to the village. When I got there they took me to a places that looked similar to a courthouse, I looked at the sign on it, it said "Peoples Court of Jacum." I assumed that I was on trial.
They seated me in front, a man that looked like he must have been the judge said, "What are the charges?"
The man next to him read from a list, "Causing people to think a holy turkey was attacking him, they shot and killed it."
"Pretty serious," the judge said. He leaned over and conferred with a man who had just brought him water. "Guilty, to the first degree. Sentenced to extremely cruel and usual punishment." After his verdict I thought, "How bad can it be getting a turkey killed?"
They shipped me off to jail, I asked my cell mate what was so bad about what I did. He explained that the turkey is the most sacred thing in the country, the only way it was to die by man was if it was about to kill man or if it was in extreme misery.
The next morning they pinned me up to a large board, a whole bunch of people were lined up with spears.
A man in a booth explained the rules: The lesser known spearers (usually the worst aim) were in the front, gradually progressing to the back. Each were to throw a spear once, if I made it throught the whole line I would be let go.
Just as the first person was about to throw, a loud noise like a vacuum cleaner started to go. I felt like I was being sucked up. Suddenly, out of nowhere a giant tube came down and engulfed me. I felt lint on the way through and I thought, "What a way to go . . . The giant vacuum cleaner of life."
All of the sudden, the noise stopped and I fell to ghe ground with a flop. I got up, brushed myself off, and looked around. I had been warped back! I was in the same place I was before, the memory lane gift shop!
"How did you like that?" my friend asked.
"It was great! Can I go back?"
"Only in your memory."
Then he disappeared.
I woke up and a shirt with the island on it was hanging in my closet.